Wednesday, February 28, 2007
im so happy! 100 stones thrown away from me le. i told him I like him le.
below the confession content (I wrote in MS word then copy and paste to him):
Hmm. Ok. If u dun noe the person is u then I dun noe what to say le. Its obvious isn’t it? Ok. I like u. 2 months ago maybe. I dun noe why la. i jus like u. its like I always feel happy talking to u be it on the phone or face to face, playing reversi with u and stuff. But when I wanted to noe u better, u made me think that u dun wanna talk to me or in other words dun bother to reply me. Yepp. I really feel tat way.
And after much consideration and advises from friends, im trying hard to give up on u now. ha. Dun noe why i wanted to tell u this but I jus feel that I want u to know how I really feel since u ask me why am I mad at u. oh yah. Im mad at u at times when u acted so blur! I wanna murder u la. U made me think that im liking a wall. dun even noe I like you, dun bother to talk me, and ignore me. And sometimes u treat me so warm and sometimes so cold that made me dun noe what u really wan.
So ya. maybe u wanna to tell me straight and ask me to stop what im doing. Or dun treat me whatever u wan, u feel like. I jus wan u to tell me straight. But if u choose to avoid me, then its okay. I will be more than happy so that I will not give myself false hope. =)
At first he started giving excuses of why he didn't reply me for these FEW DAYS. Like what his com spoiled la, a lot of projects la and stuff. So I dragged him to the right path. Asking what he really feel about me. haha. and finally, he understand! He said he treated me as a good friend like his guy friends. And he keep saying sorry, saying he didn't expressed himself clearly. He say he treat all pple the same and wun intend to get a gf now. he was quite worried that I will treat him differently after what he told me cause he experienced it before. But honestly im okay. Seriously. Maybe because im giving up on him le, feelings aren’t that strong as before. Yepp. I feel happy actually. At least he noe. Didn't make me feel like a idiot liking him all this while. And liwen is moving on. Liwen is happy now. .im saying this for the fifth time I think including those to my friends, im getting my VISION M!! yippee!!!
I luv my life now. with supporting and trustworthy friends, caring parents, lame and funny siblings, nice house location( haha. im lame), warm home, new hp, big workplace now, really comfortable bed, new VISION M and no burden!!! hohohohoho…
PS: eric, really thx for ur motivation. I really wun dare do it without u. thx for giving me good advise too! I really appreciate it. Will definitely treasure our friendship. Hope ur wish comes true =)
Ps: ah lum, bear with the shit la. Haha. see, pple noe how shitty she is so dun waste ur time angry with her. Not worth it. Spend ur time to talk to me =)
Ps: pok pok! Thx for yesterday! The long tiring day of work dun seem to even happen when I met you. U made me laugh like crazy and its always a joy talking to u. dreamgirls next week? Yep yep. We must! We need to! Im missing u already. =0)
Ps: tung! This sun right? haha. so long nvr see u liao la and when im seeing u on sun, u will be leaving the next day for HK!!! Argh! I wanna go, I wanna go!! Take good care of urself there ok? U miss me. haha. I think I wrote it in few entries back then u will miss a lot of me. haha. have a safe trip there ar. See u on sun!!
Ok. Ive decided to get the vision M as my birthday gift. Hoho. Im a IT savvy girl like what shauna say. Im cant wait!! Ah lum is accompanying me to get one. White, I think, black scratches too easily and I see reviews that u need to get a case as soon as u get one casue it really scratches too easily.
Anyway, I had a dream yesterday. I think it happened because dear shauna oh liying mentioned his name yesterday when we met. argh.. it was stupid but kinda sweet. I actually dun mind wasting my precious time dreaming. But once is enough!! No more tat. I will die when I see him in real life. Dreams sometimes make me confused…but when I woke up today, I actually wanted to get back to sleep immediately so to continue the dream. It wun hurt to have some nice fantasy infrequently right? haha.ok. im contradicting.
O shit. When Im typing this.. im in the midst of telling kn I LIKED him since im giving up. A rejection by him should heal me faster right? ok. Im going to tell him. But his reply is super slow la. Omg. Im waiting anxiously. This shall keep me awake until 6. and vision m, here I come!!!
Monday, February 26, 2007
Sucks! The microSD card that I bought online caused my phone to keep restarting!!! Im so pissed. Hmm. Anyway should I buy Zen Vision M? haha. now got sales $399 up:499. 30Gb. Think will be buying. Wanted to see how my bank acct looks like with no money in it. Haha. hopefully my attachment’s pay and my pay from partime job will help. My acct will deduct 2 dollars if the balance falls below 500. I, chen liwen,hereby promised that I wun be buying anything more than 30 bucks until my bank acct hit 800! Ive been spending like siao tis mth. CNY clothes. Formal wear. Handphone and with the zen vision M, it nearly hit 1k la. Seriously. I NEED TO SAVE FOR MY VACATION!
I worked mon to sun last week. Mon to fri attachement, sat and sun part-time job. This is nuts. I worked up 7.30 everyday la And wats more, this week will also be the same. but luckily sat is only 9-2. cause im going to my uncle’s house. Which means GAMLING time. Haha.
CARLING CUP yesterday. Asernal vs Chelsea. 1-2. yeah!! But kinda sad cause terry suffered quite a serious injury. Kanna hit on the face and fainted. He was carried out by stretcher. A bad start of the year for him indeed. Previous match jus injured himself and yet, miraculously recover and now.. but luckily he did headed back for celebration. Phew. I thought he will miss more matches . Chelsea’s defense sucks without him. Way to go Mr. Chelsea!
Friday, February 23, 2007
Liwen should be hanged. For being so irritating, stupid, thick-skin, bhb and lame. Urgh! Why am I doing all these jus to please people??? Why why why???? Why do I need to please those shit when I dun even noe them tat well? Im acting like a clown. Im tired. Seriously. Is so tired to be always the one giving.im hating it.
anyway talking about happy stuff. Haha. my dear ah lum wanted me to stop talking abt my work stuff but her. How good and clever she is. And I say I can finish the entry with 2 sentences. Haha.
1) yuk lum is my friend and she is a girl.
2) she lives at amk and is currently working with some shit.
After reading it, shes still not satisfied and so…
-----Yuk lum is clever. She can recite the ABC in five mins. She can spell photosynthesis.
Hahah. But she counter-attack,
-----Liwen is dumb. Although she can recite the ABC in five mins, she cant spell photophosphorylation.
Hmm. Tats my friend. my beloved friend. know her since sec1. same class. Not tat close at first but after that also dun noe why become close. And jay chou makes us closer!! Haha. we will hide one corner at a deserted staircase and sing his songs. Sec 3, we got separated. She went into the first class. But luckily we were on the same level and we also had this book which served as our communication tool that we will exchange every 2-4 days. Dun wish to admit but she is clever. Clever than me by a bit only though. haha. she can watch tv, go out, serve net like nobody business and still score well in those tests and exams. But god is fair. Though shes clever but shes weak. Really weak. Im acting like her bf la. Always help her carry stuff and even her CPU from her house to my dad’s shop. Haiz. Where to find this kind of good friend like me? Ah lum, must treasure me ar. Haha.
We can talk anything under the sun when we meet, and even suan each other at times. But maybe tats wat true friendship is. We wun be offended. NEVER. But infact, we enjoy it. Haha. though she sometimes can be quite irritating, I still find her quite “cute”. =)
Hmm really have to thank her for keep asking me out. Haha. cause I seldom volunteer in organizing outings and if not for her, I doubt we can still be close like before.
Also I need to thank u for all ur advises. Though some not very constructive but still, it shows that u care. Haha. seriously. I will always remember our friendship days and of course U. thanks for accompanying me this 6 years. Love u lots!
Ps: happy working with that shit. Haha.
I went for the celebration. I didn't want to actually. But clever eric actually said if I dun go, he dun go. And so I WENT.
Went to catch GHOST RIDER. It was nice! I like those graphics and effects. Awesome. But it will be better if I dun sit in between them. Too much extra sound effects from them which DOESN'T make sense at all. Its quite of irritating. Cant pple jus shut up and watch a show. One of them was like replying what the casts said. Stupid.
Apart from the good movie, the outing yesterday was kind of sucks. Reached there and say HELLO, they were getting tix already. then went to foodcourt to eat. Then went up, just in time for movie. 2.5 hrs in the theatre. Then BYE! Lol. Is this suppose to be a celebration for someone’s birthday or just a after-work relaxation for those 2. I think only them manage to get something out from the outing, I think the rest treated it as a wasted trip. ME SPECIALLY!
I dun like big groups outing, especially with them. [But there is a exception for my dearie sec friends, 10 people including me, though I seldom meet them, but every outing seems to be meaningful. We talked, we strengthen the bond, we have fun. These should be the objectives of every outing.]hmm.. I think is GENERATION GAP. For me, I think we meet up to get closer with one another, have fun with one another, do stupid yet enjoyable things. But women at 30+ think otherwise, they make it like any other normal day. They get what they wanted and leave. They are not willing to spend their “precious” time together, jus to sit down and talk. They come for the sake of coming. Urgh! They jus do things different from US! Young people who are only 19 or 20. generation gap indeed. About kn, I saw him yesterday. He’s the birthday boy. Oh ya. I sent him a birthday msg on 22/2/2007 12:00am. But he didn't reply. Is pple suppose to reply a birthday msg? urgh. But it gives me a clearer picture of what I should really do. Anyway, saw him yesterday. spoke to him 4 times.1) happy birthday 2) sorry [when I knocked onto him]3) im going home [he asked me where am I going cause I took the other side of the train from what I usually take 4) this is the train[ tats what I replied him]. Haha. how nice. I feel worthy once again! Haha. I got work to do! Yippee! I think im nutsAnyway shantelle, I really appreciate your effort trying to get everybody down yesterday. U are always the only one who is willing to do that. I hope today will be great! 3 of us, what can seriously go wrong? Haha. I cant wait for those eating, chatting, gossiping, moon-tanning session. See ya later girl!
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Im back! Hows everyone's Lunar New year? Mine was great. Though the atmosphere seems to be lacking and lacking each year but I still enjoyed gambling, eating, drinking, collecting ang bao, dolling up and lots more!!!
Talking abt gambling. I gambled till 2.30 am last night with my bro, sis and bro gf. Lol. Winning own pple money. But it was fun. And u can only see this rare scene when my parents are NOT IN SINGAPORE! Haha. they went Malaysia for 2 days. Havoc sia for us. And albert happily asked me to wake him up for soccer match at 3.30 and I stupidly woke him up. This morning, he smsed me and say he was kidding! Wat the heck. I spent 10 mins trying real hard to open my eyes to msg him twice to wake him up and he say he was kidding! Nice! Haha. was really lacking of sleep.
Last fri talked on the phone with shantelle and eric, [oh ya. thx eric for ur advise. I really appreciated it. =) ] until 3 am. And 8am, my phone rang! My manger called. Im supposed to work at 8 la. Haha. rushed there and reached around 8.40 am. Luckily until 3pm only. Sat night went to temple to pray, a regular routine every year. sun woke up early to help tidy the house abit, iron clothes and stuff. Then 11.30, off we go! Went to my grandma’s place [dad side]. My first gambling of the year. Haha. I think only managed to earn 1 bucks or so? Haha, didn't count.
Stayed there till 3 plus and proceeded to my mum’s parents house. Took family photos and gambled again! Haha. won a few bucks. Played dai tee. Ate dinner over there, then 7 plus proceeded to my parents’ friends house. And GAMBLED AGAIN! I played with 3 aunties la. Lar bi. Haha. heard b4? Its mostly played among uncles and aunties. But I super lilke the game. if suay, one match can lose max 7.50 and surprisingly I won quite a few bucks. Haha, reached home around 1. 
my grandpa,grandma, uncles, aunties, cousins.
Mon. chu er. Went house visiting again. But a short one as my parents’ friends coming over for dinner. And of course I gambled with them again! Lost quite a lot that night. Im really becoming a gambling addict. Haha.
Tues. chu san. Slacking at home. Went heartland to get formal for attachment and magi mee for dinner. Haha. instant mee to others is the last resort when u got nth to eat but for my family, instant mee is a luxury! Haha. casue my mum dun really like us eating instant noodles so seldom buy or forbid us from eating. Anyway, she cooks almost every meal also dun chance to eat and so, it made us crave for it. Curry noodles with egg and ham! Omg!! Yummy yummy =)
Wed. woke up at 7.30 for work. And finally, I feel useful. Supervisor gave us stuff to do! Haha. times flew like rocket when u got stuff to do. Happy happy. And so went home, my kind bro left me one slice of pizza and 2 drumlets. Haha. and tats my dinner! And of course with some ba gua and pineapple tarts too. Haha. CNY is making pple fat. Then gambled and gambled. But I still do house chores ok? Haha. I washed, folded, hanged and iron clothes hor. Dun play play. I still fed fishes and watered plants. Haha. quoting from my bro and sis. “liwen is the queen when my parents are not at home” haha. yepp. I ruled the pple in my house. But, this ruler, is not efficient herself actually. Haha liwen rock.
Friday, February 16, 2007
A NEW JOURNEY
How much do we really know of the powerful magic it possess,
So much so that we actually forget,
what it initially means.
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It can be painful if it isn’t what u hope to receive,
Live with it and proceed on,
maybe the best thing that your God want you to be.
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It might be long and tough for u to forget,
But believe me that it's the ending that your God want you to see,
Being with someone that u should deserve better to be with.
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No matter how long it will take,
Forgetting someone that u shouldn't like,
Is what u should be doing.
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You can deserve so much more,
With someone that truly appreciate,
Appreciate your presence and all of your doings.
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Be brave to start forgetting,
And start a new life that is worth you trusting,
It might brings you colours and rainbow that you longed to see.
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Take a deep breath,
and start your new journey,
A journey that make u realize another meaning of living.
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Mesina Chen
i can't say a thing to change the way you feel,
you like him, but you cannot tell.
you choose not to too.
but allowing yourself to sink deeper isn't really a great idea,
now know what i was like by looking at you.so so silly.
it's you who's gonna get hurt.
but who can resist him?
sucha innocent and adorable guy.
maybe if the feelings are strong enough it can last for years,
or maybe fate will be just kind enough?
and end your misery?
after NS?
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from shantelle
i dun even have the mood to update happy things since it doesn't matter anymore. Its really tiring to like someone who is so insensitive and “stupid”. We were playing Truth or Dare yesterday. And of course, they starting questioning me who I like. But I forbid them from asking. But they still managed to think of different ways to ask me. Like those that I like, is there anyone they noe. Haha. Ok. I said ya. 1. and the surname is it start with A? nope. Then it left with 3 among them. And then is it start with a L? omg. This question will eliminate the one of them which made it left with 2. but I guess is obvious that pple will noe I like kn because the other guy is a "not good guy". Yup. And the previous night I even told kn that I hated the "not good guy. And so the other L will be him. but I seriously doubt the fact that he noe is him. Omg!!
And during the game, they asked him whether he got any new target. He said he will wait after army. Ok. Nice! CHEN LIWEN, u seriously need to dip urself in chocolate fondue in a bathtub and WAKE UP!! Im wasting my time liking him, making first moves, smsing him, thinking of him, missing him and blah blah. Hmm. Maybe by thinking of his bad things, I will forget him faster? Haha.
Here it goes [we shall see how long will it be though I only noe him for 4 mths]
1. he is timid.[ a boo! from behind can scare him already]
2. he got height phobia [though hes 182 cm.]
3. he is not enthusiastic [ he will somehow or rather dun join in any water war at workplace]
4. he is sensitive at the wrong stuff [how pple feel abt him really matter to him a lot. And thus it always come to his mind that pple might be angry with him which is not the fact and thus he will always ask pple whether they are angry with him]
5. hes not really that gentleman
6. he dun dare to eat chilli[ haha. though I noe really can take hot. But guys should be able to right?]
7. he dun really noe how to swim[ I cant swim too!! =)]
8. hes quite a mommy boy [it can be irritating sometimes]
9. he likes to sleep
10. he likes to game
11. HES JUST NOT RIGHT FOR ME!!
Ok. This will be good enough le I guess.
Ps: shantelle. I told u I brought the postcard along right? haha. I cant stand it le. I put back in the envelope and now its in my drawer. Anyway, really thx for ur tortoise ar. It's a gift from YOU and not one to remind abt HIM.
Anyway, yesterday was really fun with 5 of us sitting by the river and talking. Nice! I want some more outings without those 2 ugly creatures!
This is my 100th post!! Hooray!!
FUN FUN FUN! Haha. That's the only 3 words I can used to describe yesterday outing. I guess everything will be nice and sweet if the 2 old hag didn't tag along.
Before all the happy stuff, let me vent my anger on things im seriously pissed off with. So yesterday when I reached vivo, I called shantelle to check where she was. And.. guess what she told me. The both hags[ ok. They are the 2 sucky managers that I mentioned in my past entry] said that there is sth going on with me and 2 of those guys that worked there too.
haha. I guess this is making pple confused. Ok. So the tortoise that I mentioned all along and the “he” in the yesterday’s entry is the same guy.[ ive got feelings for him. Haha. And his name is kn. Erm to prevent confusion casue he actually got the same name as my eye candy in school.he shall be named kn, his Chinese name]
and so those 2 hags thought there is sth going on with me and the 2 guys,one of them is kn. And the other one is albert. Is so lame la. A chocolate for albert to cheer him up[he jus broke off with his gf not long ago] means we got affair or some shit. These 2 hags are seriously immature and stupid. If a choc can proves anything, then all those flirting, going out for dinner and supper, smsing.. shows?? u these 2 hags might elope with them in any moment? Jus a present for a friend can be interpreted as that. however this will be ok if my other friends say it, but it is definitely not when it came out from their mouth cause they are not in the position or whatsoever to say it!!
So what if u hags are right about kn, I mean is one-sided love though. So what IF there is really sth going on between me and him? U two cant blame us for being YOUNG and NOT MARRIED!!
And yesterday, kn said that one of the hag actually msged him ask him why I asked him out and he didn't invite her along for the outing? Omg. Pple can really be that ‘forgetful’ to the extent that they forgot who are the ones that first started not calling the whole group out for outings. U cant expect ME to call u two out when u two are not doing that in the first place. so.. it will be an eye for an eye and at least I wun be so thick-skinned to actually even asked why are u all not doing so. Haiz. Maybe women ABOVE 30 will have thicker skin than ladies BELOW 20. oops. Then I cant blame u two for being that thick-skinned le.
So yesterday, we got gifts for kn. His birthday is coming. Next thurs. i DIY sth.[ haha. Pok, im artistic right? Thx to u. ur introduction to ur friend,ART. Haha] and so shantelle and both managers also got him sth. And on top of that, that B manager actually wanted shantelle to do sth extra. She asked shantelle to write him a love letter! A confession letter! And signed off as B manager. Doing stupid things like this when she is actually married and kn actually got a crush for her before!!!!!!! What if kn thought he stand a chance? U will accept him? A 19 yr old boy for u this 30 year old woman. How nice. Anyway, when I saw the way kn read the letter, he seemed happy. haha. I dun think he expect a 30 yr old woman to fall for him right?.
Hmm. I guess guys and girls will have different treatment. Girls will definitely treat guys better right? I was thinking, I will be working next sat. and if they really question me why I didn't ask them along for yesterday’s dinner. Hoho. Dun blame me for being frank [frank lampard!! Haha. Ok. No link]. But I guess I will tell them off straight in their face. And maybe! Bye. Haha. hmm.. What is holding me back from quitting and endured for these 2 years and 2 months is the pple. The pay is way too pathetic to hold me back and since now, the pple sucks more than I can imagine then I might as well leave. And this issue might be a good time to shoo. Omg. The more I think of their doings, the more I feel like slapping them.. urgh!!!!
PS: we played Truth or Dare yesterday. we asked him whether he really got feelings for manager B which i thought he had. he said no. will he lie?
Thursday, February 15, 2007
CHOOSE TO BELIEVE
love is there,
unknowingly it seems to be ,
trying to be what it suppose to be.
It can be fatal,
it can be addictive.
Once u realized its presence, theres nth else u will believe.
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U try to win, win the fact that it does not exist,
It doesn't help but make u want to retreat.
Its something u cant fight but to willing accept it,
Because it can bring u joy and tears that u can nvr imagine.
Being nice and good is not what it suppose to mean,
It's the feelings towards him that u will fall for it.
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It jus happen and may not be what u think should be,
It all happens for a reason,
and so gradually accept it.
Although u might not receive what u should be getting,
Yet do believe that,
Sacrificing is what love should meant to be.
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It might be long battle that might cause u to lose everything,
Nevertheless it can be rewarding,
if u choose the right one to believe.
love should be sweet, bitter, sour and hot,
because what it is doing,
is to spice up ur ordinary belief.
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Mesina Chen
morning!! Time to blog again. Haha. It's the 4th day le!! Ok. At least today theres sth im looking forward to. The dinner with him!! And our friends! Wait.. back to yesterday.the movie. Erm. Haha. Ok. Not bad though. but I hate show without subtitles! Really need to figure out what they trying to say. English not that pro ma. But luckily with a C6 in English, I still manage to get more than ¾ of the show ba. Haha. It was jus fun going out with ah lum. I can say anything I wan. Haha. Not afraid that she will be angry or wat. Even things that will offend her! Where do find this kind of friends! Haha. Remember to ask ur mum for the ang bao ar.[ I dun wan to make a trip to ur house =p]
my phone went dead 15 mins before knockoff la! I was happily msging him at that point of time. Was arguing who will regret if we dun turn up for today dinner. So only replied him when I reached home and charge my batt. But in the end he called me back!! Haha. When I see the missed call I still though is shantelle la casue infront no. roughly the same. So I called back, asking for shantelle. I think I spoke quite softly and his sis was like saying who? My bro ar? [haha. Of course not my bro la. But to protect his identity.. haha. She said her bro name]. then I was like.. ya! haha. 
So ma lu la. Luckily I didn't keep repeating shantelle name. so we chatted on the phone for 1 hr plus. Talking to him really made me laugh like bad though I was super tired already. He agreed that if by 25, I still left on the shelf I can go and look for him. Haha. 6 more years. Anyway, talking about marriage. Somehow or rather, I think its so difficult to maintain a marriage. I believe that there must be love in order for the marriage to carry on. And! How to like someone for 30 years, 40 years, 50 years?There ought to be at some point of time, u are tired of him, angry of him, irritated by him and stuff. So how? Try to settle I guess. but there must be feelings to stay together and feelings is perishable! Hmm.. maybe pple really in love can figure a way out to contine love, like, protect, care and forgive each other. Anyway, he mentioned that he wun look for a partner now. probably after NS. He said its too tiring and difficult to maintain a relationship during that period when there will be so little meet ups and quarrels bound to arise. But doesn't heart grow founder because of distance? I seriously think that NS is a time to test the relationship and if couple can overcome that, the road that lies infront of them will definitely be smoother…
I was telling him that hes too pampered. Haha. He agreed though. he said that pple are willing to pamper him. But he said that he did pampered pple also and that's his ex. Haha. Ok. Its so surprise la. I couldn't really picture him doing all those stupid things to cheer a girl up when shes angry. But I suppose guys will do anything for the girl even it's the most stupid things on earth if he really love her. Girls too right? Haha. Love is indeed powerful. It gives pple strength to do all those crazy and stupid stuff!
Sometimes, I wanted so much to do some sweet stuff for guy I like. Cook for him la, clean his room la , wash his clothes la. Oh no wait! That's chores! A wife needs to do all those. Haha. But if its for pple u love and care abt, I think I dun mind spending my precious time doing all those.
Anyway, for now. I think i wun confess. Friends is better or should say one sided love. Haha. U have more freedom. And if suddenly another better guy appear! Haha. Why not? Since u noe u cant expect anything from him. Ok. I admit im a flirt! Haha. Ah lum and pok say so too. That's my hobby, my professional. Haha
2 meanings
- Flirt (noun) = a seductive woman who uses her sex appeal to exploit men /playful behavior intended to arouse sexual interest
- Flirt (verb) = talk or behave amorously, without serious intentions / behave carelessly or indifferently
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Quiet Admiration
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My soul forms the words,My heart ensnares them,Locking them in its warm chambers,My mind knows these words,And my fingers write these words,Yet my lips,The dastardly thingsThey find no valor,And can not form the words.----------How is it that I can feel these words,With so much hope and admirationJust for you,Yet my lips can not speak themTo tell youOf your shy smileAnd your crystal eyes?I am enamored by you,By your words and your laughter.----------You leave me breathless,As the air leaps out of my mouth,Twirling and bowing to your charms,Enchanted by your congeniality.Your face is imprinted in my mindNever leaving,Never fading.Your smile warming my heart,And your eyes entrancing my soul.----------I wish I could form my feelingsInto articulate wordsOf love and wonderAnd tell you of my feelings,Let you know of my aspirationTo be held securely in your arms,Where I long to be,Sitting serenely with you,Basking in the sweet resonance of stillness.----------But I know that wish is unattainable,Far out of my reach,Yet I admire you still,Yearning that one day you'll notice meAs more than just a girlBut as a young womanWhose heart you've whisked awayInto the perpetual sky,Floating along the clouds.----------And everyday I lingerHoping for some acknowledgment,A fleeting look or a petite hello.Perhaps to even hear you speak my nameWould bring warmth to my heartAnd joy to my daysAs I wait for you to discernThat I, quietly,Admire you.
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Happy valentine’s day!! A day to express my love to pple around me
To dad & mum: thx for continue loving me despite all my nonsense. Thx for being such a concerned and caring parents. Though I seldom say this.. but I LOVE YOU!
To sis: yoz! Sometimes u do get onto my nerve but still u have been such a wonderful sis by buying clothes which I can wear too! Can a bf soon too so that he can stop all ur nonsense [or even make things worse]. Jia you for ur exams though u will see me enjoying during CNY while u burying under books.
To bro: u have been quite a unusual bro but still thanks so much for all ur help in those com stuff. Its really amazing seeing how u handle those things like reciting ABC. Anyway, work hard in ur job and drive slowly and safely!!
To shauna aka pok: urgh. It has been 5 days since I last saw you. Anyway regarding what u told me yesterday, u two seems to have CONNECTION ar. Haha. Haiz.. pple can make u talk for so long lei but with me, u are only TIRED! Haha. Not to that extent but ya.. he jus got the power to make u talk and talk, laugh and laugh, walk and walk. Haha. Anyway, ur job seems to be fun la. Seriously. At least theres things to do! Here?U can see the no. of entry I wrote per day. But I noe its stressful so u must really jia you. Jus keep in mind that one day, elvin might appear and u wan to show him what u can do! Haha. Take care babe. I miss you lots!
To lum: lol.whats more to say to you. You have been the bestest friend ever since 6 yrs ago! Ur crap, ur weak body [always ask me help u carry things =p],ur voice, ur songs, ur nonsense and more more more. But I jus cant get enough of u! and we meeting later. Haha. U must be honoured lei. I got so many dates la but push them away because of u. haha. Kidding! Anyway lil children [m18 with some sexual content]!! I jus cant wait…
To tung: im jealous!!!!!!! U going back to hk next month la!! Urgh! That heavenly place with cute guys, nice shopping places, nice food, nice weather, everything nice is over there la. But I noe u sure going to miss me. Miss me snatching ur blanket, miss me shouting in the middle of the night, miss me kicking you, miss me spreading germs to u which made u sick, miss my nonsense, miss my lameness and everything abt me!! Haha. But anyway, jia you for ur exams ar! U can do it!! U are the mighty tung tung. Regarding him, erm. I noe I cannot give good advise but still.. let time proves everything. I guess he will understand everything when time is ripe. Dun be too upset over him. show me ur smilely and pretty face =) I always be there for u when u need me.
To all nyp friends: im seriously miss all of ur friendliness now. pple arent that friendly in the society,I guess. School is so much more fun. I miss you guys!! Have a memorable valentine’s day!!
To shantelle: shantelle!! We are meeting tml also! Haha. Cant wait to see u. try to forget him ok? Haha. U have me for valentines also. U can call me whenever u wan. U have been really a great friend all these while listening to all my crap and stupidness towards tortoise. Thx girl. Jia you for your studies and get a good job. I wouldn't want u to stuck at that place forever. Miss ya! Cheers.
To tortoise: ok. U are the first guy that make me made so much first moves. Seriously la. Bbut yet.. I see no response from u. sometimes u acted so friendly that I thought I stand a chance but I know that that's how u treat ur friends around you. Hmm.. not asking much but sometimes do reply me okie? Haha. I will try to forget u asap. Im wondering whether I should let u noe how I feel. But tml we are meeting and so better not. See how first. =)
To Kenny: ok. I dun noe why. But Im actually writing this. Haha. I spotted u 1 and a half yr ago in sch?[ erm definitely more than 1 yr] haha. But still I dun dare to make friends with u. urgh!! But I feel happy jus being able to see u in sch, read ur blog and even saw u at my house bus stops for several times. Ok. Today will be a special day for u and her. So ya. do enjoy urself. And hope everything is well for u. yr 3 modules are hard but im sure u can do it. Take care =)
[I guess im only writing for myself to see.]
to xue: we nvr forgotten about you! see i even relink u. ahah. ipp is really unbearable. Take good care of yourself over there in sch ya. miss u lots. Happy valentine’s day!
to all my friends: stay happy and healthy. happy valentine's day!
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Was chatting with my friend yesterday. Why can adults act so immature when they are already married and even have a child?! I was so pissed off la. My friend was working at this place. a f&b job. Managers sucks over there. they[females] are jus some freaking attention-seeker creatures who jus toy with pple feelings! They treat their staff or even friends as entertainment tool. A and B [the female managers] tried to matchmake this C manager[ manager C is not one of those ugly creatures, shes fine =)] to this guy. So B was active in matchmaking them and was along the person that contact the guy. And like any other drama series, the guy likes B instead. But here, B knew it and still try to matchmake them.. the most disgusted part was, despite knowing the guy like her, B still remain close with the guy. Ok. I admit that B has this character that attracts guys unintentionally but since u know the guy like u, why still remain so close with him and even push the guy to ur friend! C was upset when she knew that the guy like B but B wanted them to be together. Pushing things u dun one to ur friend. What u treating ur friend as? B actually feel guilty of doing all that. Pls la.. u should noe before u actually do it. Unless 30 years of living didn’t make u learn a single thing.
Ok. So my friend was quite close to B and yet B can organize meeting and left her out. She called A and some guys who also work there along but not her. I mean if u dun wan someone to tag along, courtesy wise ask behind the person’s back la. B actually called those pple out infront of my friend la. What the heck she trying to prove. And always organize outing when my friend is working. If u dun really like the person and dun wan he/she to join u in any outings, please jolly well make sure that u also dun come to he/she when u are in need. Who is the person that skip school jus to take over the pathetic lack of man-power schedule, who is the person that work full-shift (9am-11pm) for 6 days straight when there is not enough people to work [ anyway they always face lack of man-power prob], who is the one that was scolded for something that is not even her fault to begin with[ they are jus trying to vent their anger], who is the one that always organize outings and ask all along!!!! Is all my friend!!!!!! A person like you who dun have EQ is real pathetic, I really sad for u when I didnt see a single friend appeared at ur wedding day when u suppose to have big bunch of ssisters with you. And SERVE U RIGHT for having flattened nose!! Its because u lie too much and brag about everything u say. Dun think Pinocchio will kind enough to give u long nose?! Nah. Continue dreaming…
anyway there is a trend at the workplace to flirt with guys openly. Haha. Ok. Nth wrong though. but pls have some limits when u are already married!!! And flirting should be restricted in the workplace. When one of the guys at the workplace jokingly asked B to find other guys to flirt with, she commented that guys tat my friend wan she also wan. Lol la. Ok. She might be joking though but still… anyway the fact that she is married is still kept as a secret from a lot of them. Erm.. only me, my friend, A and C noe. What if those guys at work that also flirted back, noe the fact that she is married. Hohoho.. merry Christmas. I wanna buy pop corn and see show!!!!!!!
Ps: my tortoise guy once liked her. Omg. 13 years of age difference. And I really cant stand the fact that he actually made the first move to msg her when I actually msged him and he nvr replied. Urgh!!!!! This is real crap.
Second day!! Hmm... brought some stuffs over from home to decorate my empty and big workplace. Haha. His tortoise was brought along. Ok. Wanted so much to get over him and i thought during exam period, I could avoid talking to him and maybe that will reduce my feelings towards him. Unfortunately, when I talked to him yesterday. He jus so adorable!! Haha. Cute, lame, cartoon, innocent [haha. The way he talked can assured me that he is jus he. Not acting. No plots or motive =)] ok. But somehow or rather the feelings weren’t that strong as before le. But I found out that hes attached to place near habourfront too which means we can meet up for dinner!! Yippee! I did mention that to him and he said ok. Haha. Hopefully… But with his friends too. Well, I noe his friends actually, they are mine too. Haha.
1hr 44 mins passed. Today is better. Colleagues are getting more friendly. Haha. Going lunch later with the sp guy. Arr. He’s leaving 2 weeks earlier la. I will be left alone at one corner with those permanent staff who are not that friendly for now. Haiz.. but hopefully more dinners with tortoise guy will cheer me up. Im so looking forward
Anyway tml is valentines day!! Haha. I dun even noe is wed la. And luckily I got a date! Haha. With ah lum la. O did I mention that ah lum is the best?? Haha. Was asking her yesterday whether she wanna sponsor me microSD card at 1gb for $30 [its so much cheaper than outside. Nokia selling at $68, but because I getting it from yahoo Auction thats why I also run the risk of getting fake goods but I think the package also comes with warranty from Kingston. Should be ok right? Haha] anyway back to the sponsorship thing, she AGREED! Haha. Its actually a great great advance birthday present. Thx girl. Loves!
Haha! Oh yah. Im getting the card for my new hp. Nokia 7390. wanted to use it as a mp3 also that’s why need such big memory since I dun have one. Haha. Ya. I dun have a mp3. cool huh. =).
I miss sch. I miss cheers. I miss tutorials. I miss lectures. At most of all, I miss the presence of all my friendly friends especially SHAUNA OH!! I miss waiting for u when u are late, I miss bullying you though u did bully me also. I miss snacking with you. I miss lunching with you. I miss doing our handshake. I miss ALL OF YOU and the things we do together. I so miss you. We need to meet up. Real soon! Take care of yourself there ar, cashier cum receptionist. Haha. Hope u meet cute guys over there. Maybe elvin. Haha. LOVES!
love is in the air.. =)
Monday, February 12, 2007
okay. Im bored. Here at my workplace level 21. sth to be happy about is that I got a table by the window, I got the sea view!! Haha. Nice. Now I can see crystal on the water when the sun shined on it. =). Met a cute IT guy too! Haha. He helped me to fix my com system. Nice accent. Hmm.. the pple weren’t that friendly. Haha. Maybe cause we are interns. Hopefully things will be better.
Oh anyway! I got under this guy who turn out to be the
director of the department. Omg. Stressed. He was asking me and this sp guy what we good in so he capitalize on it. We were like reciting to him what we did during this 2 years. Those modules and projects blah blah blah… and he began asking us what is sharepoint portal. We are like ”huh..”. haha. He asked to look for books from the library regarding that and then wanted us to present next time to him.. so much so for the first day of work.
2.30 hr left...
Saturday, February 10, 2007
FINALLY!!! after so so so long, i finally blogged! and most importantly, my exams are over!! that marked the end of year2. going for my attachment next mon. some shipment company[NOL] near PSA building. which is quite near sentosa. omg. transportation fees...
went out with mum jus now to TANGS. we got 120 worth of voucher. so managed to get some stuff over there. used up $70. then met shantelle! haha. she accompanied me to NOL, i wanted to know how to go if not monday need to report at 9 and if me, this no sense direction person get lost, hohoho. happy new year. haha. and indeed both of us keep missing our stops. we still ended at CBTL hq la. omg. we are seriously devoted to them.
anyway, is certaainly a joy going out with her. casue it will be GOSSIPS time!! haha. we had really nice talks at food republic. we shall meet up more! and SOON!! loves!
tml will be getting my phone nokia 7390 if possible. and need to get some formal skirts. sianz. im spending quite alot. though my pathetic allowance of 450 for the attachment and weekends at cbtl will still help a little. i need to save for my graduation vocation!! hmm.. taiwan? =)
to tung: good luck for ur exams. though is during cny but still jia you ok? u can do it! and hope everything will be well for u and him. miss ya! muacksto lum: haha. good luck for ur As. and we shall meet up soon. lil children? =)to pok: omg!!! where will i see u again?!! i will certainly miss u during the attachment period. and we WILL meet up when i noe how to swim. haha. have fun with those NS guys ar.haha. and mr tan too. =p
